How to Find Purpose After Pain, Loss & Heartback | Holly Sweat Raper on the Rooted in Christ Podcast Ep. 217

[2 Speakers Detected] [Total Utterances: 37]

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[0:00 -> 1:21] Speaker 1: I started this, Eric, when my husband was laying beside me in bed gurgling because he had so much liquid on his lungs. The bed was shaking like the Exorcist because the cancer was breaking his ribs and spine. And he was in so much pain. I mean, I am praying over him through the night thinking, I don't know if this man is going to be with me first thing in the morning because he was in so much torment and pain. And I would wake up in the morning and I would thank the Lord. Lord, thank you for the breath in my lungs. Thank you that he is still here. Thank you that we have eternal salvation with you no matter what the outcome is. So attitude of gratitude is the beginning of what we're going to focus on and how we move our day versus listening to the news. And what are we feeding ourselves? Not just physical food, but spiritual food. Are they listening to your podcast? Are they listening to the word of scripture? Are they listening to motivational Christian people?

[1:22 -> 1:22] Speaker 2: Who.

[1:22 -> 1:24] Speaker 1: What are people listening to?

[1:30 -> 1:43] Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Rooted in Christ podcast. I am excited for this episode because with me, I have speaker, I have bestselling author, Holly Sweat, Raper Sister. Welcome to the show.

[1:45 -> 1:50] Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Eric. It is such an honor to be here with you and with your listeners.

[1:51 -> 2:08] Speaker 2: Thank you for, for taking time. I'm. I know you have a new book coming out. I can't wait to, to kind of dive into, into what that's about. But before we, we get into that, for anyone who may be tuning in today who's meeting you for the first time, I just wanted you to share like a little bit about your, your testimony and how you came to know Jesus.

[2:09 -> 3:23] Speaker 1: Oh, okay, great. Well, I came to know the Lord early, early in, in probably when I was 13. But, you know, the Lord has my. I'm a psychotherapist by trade. And so it's so funny because it's amazing all the things that we go through in life that God will help equip us in order to walk in the purpose that he has called us to do so early in. I could have written a book before I was 30 from abuse, divorce, going through difficulties in life. But all of that was helping me and to tool me up so that I could effectively work with people and draw them to Jesus. And it's funny, Eric, because people will say, so you're a Christian counselor. And I'm like, no, I'm a psychotherapist who's a Christian. And the. That's the difference is whatever we do, we strive for excellence. And so we need ministry in the marketplace.

[3:26 -> 4:16] Speaker 2: So that's actually, no, that's one of the words that was. Was spoken over my life is that God is going to give you a platform in the marketplace. And at the time, I had no clue what that meant. I had to do some, I had to do some searching. But it's, you know, for me, I've always said what we do on, on Sunday or what I'm studying and doing at home behind closed doors, I need to be able to take that everywhere that I'm going and live my life on, go and live my life on mission. To literally be not just a good witness, but obviously, but a disciple who makes disciples. And telling anybody that I can about Jesus because, you know, sitting in my. With my Christian friends is, Is one thing, but there are other people out there who don't know Jesus who need to hear the saving power of the gospel.

[4:17 -> 4:47] Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely. And I love that you do that. And here, see, I've been a career consultant for over 30 years. And so our jobs are what we get paid for, but our careers, what we are made for. So being able to go, lord, what gifts and talents and experience have you given me so that I can glorify you in the marketplace? And I love that you said it's not just, I mean, what army only eats on Sunday?

[4:48 -> 4:48] Speaker 2: Right?

[4:48 -> 5:26] Speaker 1: Right. We have to feed ourselves daily. That's why it says our daily bread. And you are right, you, what you are doing and the people you were touching. But one of the things that I love about what you're doing, Eric, is that you're not just hearing from the Lord, that I'm supposed to start this podcast, I'm supposed to start this. But you actually did it, you know, taking those steps of faith. Even if you don't know what the next step is, we can't wait for the Lord to give us the next step. We have to get out of the boat and step out on the water. That's where the miracles happen.

[5:28 -> 6:14] Speaker 2: Nothing was. I. I've been talking to a gentleman about this. Like, nothing I'm doing right now came from my comfort zone. It's. It's been none of it like, it's, it's the total. It's actually the total opposite of, of that. So, you know, if, if you really want a new result or you want God to do a new thing, there certain things that have to be, that have to be different. Certain parts of my flesh had to continuously had to get crucified and has to continuously get crucified. The season that he's sending me, everything that I have right now will not be. Will not be following, you know, so, you know, it's, it's important that I think that we understand that it can't just, we can't just be okay, I've been doing this for this long. I'm comfortable here. And we're just going to keep on this, this track. Like, no, the. There's going to be growth, there's going to be change, you know, so.

[6:15 -> 7:07] Speaker 1: Oh, he's going to stretch us. And I have, I've. I've always said I have evered. Every. Never I ever said I would never. I mean, I said I would never write a book because I'm. I was terrible writer, I was terrible in English. I'm a math science person. I said I would never do technology. Now I'm doing podcasts, I'm doing social media. I'm doing things that. Coaching internationally that I never thought I would do. And so what the Lord is asking us is a yes and amen. And then we sit back and go, oh, because he's going to stretch us to do something that's far greater than we can possibly imagine. But that miracle happens when we trust him and not just ourselves do something so great that is destined to fail, lest God be in it.

[7:08 -> 7:35] Speaker 2: And I mean, there's, you know, and I've seen him to, to your point, some of the things I've seen you talk about and something I've seen you speak about and write about, I mean, it's not going to be easy. You know, death to self is. Is not easy. There's going to be pain there. There's going to be suffering. And I think asking ourselves, lord, what am I supposed to learn from. From this situation? Because, you know, many people ask, why does God allow suffering? So, you know, so from, from your perspective, how has your perspective on pain changed through your experiences?

[7:37 -> 9:01] Speaker 1: Well, like I said before, I could have written a book before I was 30. But in all of that, God was preparing me for the greatest storm. Now, here's the thing we know God doesn't stop the storm. He's greater than the storm in this life. It never said we won't have trials and tribulations. We were guaranteed we're going to have trials and tribulations. The thing that people need to know is God does not send those trials and tribulations. We live in a fallen world. What he can do is he can take something good and turn it into something great. Out of something. He can take crucifixion and make it resurrection. He can take a storm and make it powerful. And I can say that because I've lived it. My book, Living in Victory, Not Defeat, is not just a book. It is a motto of life. I mean, every day we have a choice. And so let me tell you a little bit about this book, if I can, is. My husband and I are twins. We have boy, girl, twins, and they were off to college. We were empty nesting. This is such a great time.

[9:01 -> 9:02] Speaker 2: Is.

[9:02 -> 13:35] Speaker 1: So we were falling in Love again. Married 25 years, and it was so much fun. And we just were so excited about this next chapter. Well, during this time, all of the sudden, my husband started getting really yellow. And here he had this very rare disease called Stouffer syndrome. What that was is we found out he had kidney cancer, and the cancer had shut down his liver. And as we know, if your liver shut down, it's just going to be months after that. They ended up taking him in, Eric, and we were like, what, they didn't think he would live six months? No, we were. We were having the best time of our lives. 54 years old, and all of the sudden, life was changing. They took a tumor the size of a football off of my husband's kidney. They had to take part of his rib to get it out. Two weeks after we got home, he saw a bright light. He's an attorney and a brilliant man, and all of a sudden, he looked at me and he said, I can't read here. He had a brain tumor. It had metastasized in his brain, in his lungs. I was taking 2 liters of fluid off of his lungs a day. I am not a health care person. I was doing things I never thought I would be able to do. We were getting hit by the tsunami of devastation from cancer to not being able to work. And, you know, when crisis happens, it doesn't happen one at a time. It is a barrel of a bunch of different things. My mother actually ended up hitting a coal truck, ended up in ICU in a coma while I'm trying to take care of my husband, who they don't think has is going to live. And I'm her health care power of attorney. I'm the only one in that can take care of her. So it was like this maelstrom of things all happening at once. But what I'll tell you is, during this whole time, we kept saying, lord, what are you doing? How are you trying to. What are you trying to teach us? And I'm getting into. And we know these stories of Job, that the story was never about punishment. He was chosen. With Joseph, it wasn't about punishment. It was about. It wasn't setbacks. It was set ups to get him to where he needed to be. And I know my heavenly Father didn't cause cancer. So when I'm reciting to myself Romans 8:18, I consider your current suffering not worth comparing to the glory I will reveal in you. That's truth over. Lord, what are you doing? And he was going, I'm not doing it, Holly, but I'm going to use it. Wait till you see what's going to happen. The peace, the joy, the miraculous things that we experienced in this journey. Eric, I saw a tumor go down in my hand in prayer. We saw miraculous things. There were things, things that I share in my book. I saw God in the most miraculous ways. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Those things I can't unsee. Those things I can't unhear. And so even during this time, people go, how are you strong? I'm not strong. God is strong when he says we are weak. When we are weak, he is strong. That is true when people say, holly, I'm just human. No, you're not. You're one third Holy Ghost. And when you tap into that, it's amazing what you can go through.

[13:37 -> 13:49] Speaker 2: Yeah, that's. That's actually a really good mindset shift. So I want to, I want to tap into that a little bit more too, because I hear you. Because you often talk about, like turning pain into. Into a purpose.

[13:49 -> 13:49] Speaker 1: Right.

[13:49 -> 13:58] Speaker 2: You know, so what practical steps can someone take when they're in the middle of heartbreak and they can't. And they can't see God's plan or they, or they may be losing hope?

[14:00 -> 19:03] Speaker 1: And that is so powerful. There's actually three steps. And the first is you have to choose truth over feelings. Feelings. So I'm a psychotherapist. And so what that is in psychotherapy is it's called cognitive behavioral theory. And that means people say, well, don't be afraid. Well, wait a minute. You can't change your feeling. You can only what's causing the feeling. It's the thought. So what cognitive behavioral theory is. And here it is, it's from scripture. It is as a man thinks in his heart, so is he right? And so the way you think determines the way you feel. The way you feel determines how you act. How you act determines your results. So if you're thinking, this happened to me, then all Of a sudden, your feelings are, I'm a victim, I'm rejected. The actions are going to be slipping into a depression. The result is going to be that you're isolated and you're not functioning. But versus, wait a minute. God is with me. Even though I don't understand this, he did not do this. He said that he can do mighty things. When I am weak, he is strong. He considers my current suffering not worth comparing to the glory he will reveal in me. Something good is going to come out of this. And I look at Joseph, I look at Job, I look at Paul, I look at Peter. I am sure that Paul, when he was in prison, was going, this is not how I anticipated being able to share the Gospel. But all most of the New Testament was done because Paul was in prison. So when I'm looking at Scripture, God's going, you have to see that I can take difficulties and turn them into something. So we have to turn what we're actually thinking, thinking into what the truth he is sharing with us. So that's the first thing is being able to change how we're feeling to truth. The second is shift your focus. Whatever we see or we focus on, we actually see. So we've heard the old adage, if you say I can't, you're right. If you say I can, you're right. Whatever you think, whatever you focus on, you see. And I started focusing on the Lord first thing in the morning. So so often I. You know, I even did a post on Start yout Morning is Good. Good morning, Lord. Or you can choose and say, well, good Lord, it's morning. It's a choice. And the thing about it is people said, well, Holly, that's so easy for you to say. Listen, I started this, Eric, when my husband was laying beside me in bed gurgling because he had so much liquid on his lungs. The bed was shaking like the Exorcist because the cancer was breaking his ribs and spine. And he was in so much pain. I mean, I am praying over him through the night thinking, I don't know if this man is going to be with me first thing in the morning because he was in so much torment and pain. And I would wake up in the morning and I would thank the Lord. Lord, thank you for the breath in my lungs. Thank you that he is still here. Thank you that we have eternal salvation with you no matter what the outcome is. So attitude of gratitude is the beginning of what we're going to focus on and how we move our day versus listening to the news and what are we feeding ourselves? Not just physical food, but spiritual food. Are they listening to your podcast? Are they listening to the word of scripture? Are they listening to motivational Christian people? What are people listening to that is feeding their spirit? Because faith comes from hearing and hearing the word of God and then actually applying it. Just because you hear it, then you have to walk in it. Walk in it. Information with application leads to transformation, and that is the key because we can't just be takers of all this information and not actually applying it.

[19:05 -> 19:22] Speaker 2: No, that's good. I, I, I really appreciate you, you sharing that because, I mean, you've obviously walked through this, you know. So after losing your husband to the stage four cancer, what were some of the biggest questions that you wrestle with in your faith and how to God meet you in that season?

[19:22 -> 22:16] Speaker 1: Oh, I love that question. Thank you. So sorry. The so three months after Dan passed away, Eric, I woke up with the devil taunting me, right? I woke up, I was shaking, I was sweating. Fear was just knocking at my door, and I'm hearing his lies. You're completely alone. No one will ever love you the way Dan did. You're no longer a wife. Your kids are gone, they don't need you. You're no longer a mother. You haven't worked in two years. What are you to do about your career? You're 57 years old. You're going to lose your house. You have to move. You know, your life is over. And I remember going, lord, do you hear this? And Eric, I heard so clearly in my spirit, yes. What did I say? And I said, lord, you told me that I have more authority than the enemy. And he said, that's right. Stop talking to me about your problems and start talking to your problems about me. So I cast the enemy away. And I said, devil, leave. I am a daughter of the king. You have no authority in this home. And then over my life, leave. And he left. But then I had these questions, Eric, and this is why it's so important that we get into the word. Because I said, but, Lord, I am alone. And he said, what did I say? And I said, you said you would never leave me or forsake me, so I'm not alone. And I said, but, Lord, I do have to sell my house. I can't live the way my husband was attorney. I can't live the way we were living. And he said, what did I say? And I said, you said you would take care of my needs according to your riches and glory, and you have unlimited Resources. And then I said, but, Lord, what about my job? I haven't really worked for the last two years. And he said, what did I say? And I said, you said, I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you hope in a future. And. And then I said, the Lord, I am scared. It's been a rough two years. And he said, what did I say? And, Eric, I'll never forget this. I said, lord, I don't know. And I heard so clearly again, in my spirit, daughter, I turned the water into wine at the end of the wedding. Wait till you see what I'm gonna do next. And I said, lord, I don't understand this, but I trust you. And so I'm headed for an adventure. And I know you're holding me.

[22:17 -> 22:45] Speaker 2: Wow, it's so. I love what you said about talking to your problems about God and. And putting. And just changing the whole. The whole perspective, which. Which kind of leads me because it's. It's a. It is a complete mindset shift. You know, I mean, it's. What are we. What are we focusing on? You know, do we want to focus on life or do we want to focus on making our circumstances bigger than God? You know, so I. I love that perspective.

[22:47 -> 24:04] Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely. I mean, living in victory, not defeat, is a choice. And. And the thing about it is we don't have to fight for victory. We can fight from victory first. I think it's First Corinthians 15:57 says, and God gave us victory through the Lord Jesus Christ. He gave it to us. We have it. All we have to do is receive it and it so we can walk above our circumstances. You know, when Peter stepped out of the boat, it was when he had his eyes focused on Christ that he could walk on water. It didn't matter. That was a storm. He couldn't have walked on water if it wasn't storming. But God is asking us to step out on faith. And even though you don't understand it, he can do all things, and he wants to do things from through us. Turn our pain into purpose, our heartbreak into healing, our tests into testimonies, our mess into messages. This is what he does. And when we see it through that eternal perspective, it changes everything.

[24:07 -> 24:21] Speaker 2: So I know the book is coming out. I think it'll. It'll probably be. It will be out by the time this podcast airs. So what's one lesson from living in victory, not defeat that you hope every reader remembers long after they finish the book?

[24:22 -> 25:22] Speaker 1: Oh, yes. As they're reading this Book. My hope and my prayer is that they're not seeing my story. They're seeing their story of how God showed up in their life in their story and how he is still writing. If they are still here, he is still writing their story. And they can, no matter what has hit them, no matter how what difficulties, finance, career, self esteem, a loss of, of themselves, of relationships, of a loved one, that he is there to sustain them, to be able to strengthen them, give them peace, give them purpose in that. And their story isn't over. And they can make. They are created for success. They're created for a purpose and they're created for impact.

[25:25 -> 25:37] Speaker 2: Ali, thank you so much for being on here today. Thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom, your insight. This is the final segment of the podcast is the let them know segment. You can share anything you like with the audience. So please let them know.

[25:38 -> 26:12] Speaker 1: Oh, I would love, Eric, for people to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Please, please get Living in victory, not to feed. I believe it would transform your life. Break chains of shame, guilt. It walks you through so many different things, but it's a reminder that God is there through your storm and he wants to do amazing things in you.

[26:14 -> 26:25] Speaker 2: Sister, once again, thank you for being on here. We're gonna have to get you back on here in, in the future. I feel like we could really talk about even in greater detail, just God allowing pain in our responses to it.

[26:25 -> 26:28] Speaker 1: Oh, oh, I would love that. I would love that.

[26:29 -> 26:31] Speaker 2: Can you pray us out before we get out of here?

[26:31 -> 27:15] Speaker 1: Yes, Lord Jesus, I just praise you and thank you. Thank you so much for this obedient servant of yours, Eric. Lord, thank you so much that his listeners are getting breakthrough, they're getting enlightened, they're being transformed by your truth. Lord, I just pray that every listener who hears these words today feels your presence, feels your glory, feels your transforming healing. And Lord, that you love them. Lord, I just thank you so much for the honor of being able to speak your truth and to walk in your purpose. And I just praise you and thank you in Jesus name, amen.

[27:16 -> 28:16] Speaker 2: And Lord, I just thank you for, for my sister, Lord, I pray that you just continue to expand her territory. I pray you continue to give her the grace to be obedient. I pray you continue to give her the health and strength to do all the things you've called her to do, Father. And for anyone who's listening this sound of my voice, Lord, I pray that they even now are being stirred up to accept you as their Lord and Savior turn away from the things that are separating them from you. Not for rules and regulation, but for just freedom, but for peace for eternity with the Father, Lord. So I pray that someone who's listening, who doesn't know you, Lord, that they know you today. Father, I thank you for the celebrations taking place in heaven. I pray for that person listening, Lord, for the healing that they are about to experience a break. They're about to experience a new job that is coming their way and the book that you're putting on their heart to write that they are now going to start that process, Lord. So I thank you for just providing that encouragement through us today, Lord. I pray you just continue to use us how you see fit. We just pray these things in Jesus name, Amen.

[28:17 -> 28:20] Speaker 1: Amen. Amen. Thank you so much, Eric.

[28:21 -> 28:46] Speaker 2: Thank you for being on here today and for everybody listening. If you've been enjoying our content, please like, follow, share and subscribe to the Rooted in Christ podcast. We are on all major podcast platforms. Remember November 7th, the House of Blues beyond the Walls is back. We have kb, Mike, Teasy, Breno, Portia Love, Taylor Wells is going to be there. My man Renzo's co hosting the show. You never know who's going to show up at our concert of this year. We might have a few more surprises. Sister, thank you so much for being on here today. I appreciate it.

[28:46 -> 28:48] Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you.