From Hearing Loss & to Relationship with Jesus w/ Desiree Taylor | The Rooted in Christ Podcast Ep. 211

[2 Speakers Detected] [Total Utterances: 58]

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[0:00 -> 0:13] Speaker 1: made the decision to, um, walk away from him. Because the root of that was I felt very lonely. It was very lonely. And it— one of the lies I really believed was that he wasn't with me.

[0:13 -> 0:13] Speaker 2: Hmm.

[0:13 -> 0:36] Speaker 1: It didn't feel like he was there. Like, you're saying this here, but I'm not seeing this playing out in life. Like, my sister, I would watch her and friends and other things, and they're not following you, but they sure seem a whole lot better over there. Or They've got the friends, they've got the, the boyfriends, and they've got all that. And I'm over here sitting and feeling like I'm alone in this.

[0:36 -> 0:55] Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Rooted in Christ Podcast. My name is Eric Stevens. I'm the founder of Redwood Christian Ministries. Thank you for tapping in again this week. We have another amazing guest on the show, Desiree Taylor. Sister, how are you doing today?

[0:56 -> 0:57] Speaker 1: I'm doing great. How are you?

[0:57 -> 1:28] Speaker 2: I can't complain. I can't complain. It is, uh, I would— any day that the sun is shining in Cleveland, I will take it. So that is, um, I will take that blessing every chance I get. So thank you for, for being on here today. I wanted the audience to just get a chance to get to hear more of your story and get a chance to get to know you. So I want you to share some of your personal testimony. So how did you, um, How did you come into a relationship with Jesus Christ and begin getting to know him?

[1:28 -> 2:17] Speaker 1: Well, you know, I've been thinking a lot about this, kind of going back a lot and thinking back to the beginning. So this is real fresh in my mind, but I was, I was probably 8 years old, and, um, my mom took me to church every weekend. It was— I went to more of a Baptist church, but I had some friends. I lived in a town that they went to another denomination. And so I was taking the things in from what I was hearing at church, and then I was watching and seeing what my friends were saying and doing. And even at 8 years old, I'm like, this isn't lining up. And so I was listening to what they were saying God was. I was listening to what I was hearing God was. And then I just kind of sat down and said to God, who are you? And that's really where it began for me.

[2:17 -> 2:18] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

[2:18 -> 3:24] Speaker 1: Um, and that's when I started kind of really, you know, getting into the Bible a little bit and, and trying to, to see who he was. I was saved. I accepted Christ into my, my life at 9 years old and was baptized by 10. But, um, as you'll see as my story goes on, it really wasn't a Like, I wanted to know God, but I didn't really know who he was. And the ways that I was being shown who he was wasn't really who he was. And, um, I had to go through some of my own trials to really find out personally who he is, because that's who he is. He's a personal, relational God. And at that point, I didn't know it, but that's really where it began. And I do believe that because I asked him the question, who are you? Then he began to show me, and that doesn't always happen overnight. We like, we want God to answer these things overnight and quick, but he tends to take a while. Um, and sometimes we have to go through some things to really know that personally who he is, and that's kind of what it was for me.

[3:24 -> 3:36] Speaker 2: Because I've heard you like describe like your growing up in like almost a legalistic like church environment. How would you say that really did shape your early understanding of faith and Christianity?

[3:38 -> 4:37] Speaker 1: Well, you know, there was a lot of it. It really shaped it a lot. I didn't realize it at the time though, you know. There was a lot of, um, I saw a lot of church politics. I saw a lot of— I heard a lot of dos and don'ts. Don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, do this, do this, you need to do this, and your value and your worth is based on what you do or don't do. That's really what I took away. I think that's the root of what I took away. And, um, and that's part of what I carried in, like, if I didn't do this, then I wasn't good enough for God. And that was very damaging for me. You know, there was other things in the middle of it too, um, that come through being in a legalistic environment, like the people pleasing and the just this— that your self-worth is nothing when you feel like you're failing all the time. You live in constant failure and shame and condemnation. And it Uh, that's really where I lived a lot, um, in the younger years.

[4:37 -> 4:49] Speaker 2: What was the moment when you realized Christianity is more about a relationship with Jesus and not just so much a religion and just a bunch of dos and don'ts?

[4:49 -> 5:11] Speaker 1: Well, I've had a few different moments over life, but I think the pivotal one was I had walked away from God. I made the decision to um, walk away from him because the root of that was I felt very lonely. It was very lonely. And it— one of the lies I really believed was that he wasn't with me.

[5:11 -> 5:11] Speaker 2: Hmm.

[5:11 -> 7:27] Speaker 1: It didn't feel like he was there. Like, you're saying this here, but I'm not seeing this playing out in life. Like my sister, I'd watch her and friends and other things, and they're not following you, but they sure seem a whole lot better over there. Or they've got the friends, they've got the, the boyfriends, and they've got all that. And I'm over here sitting and feeling like I'm alone in this. Where are you really? I don't think you're really here. And that's really what I said. And I walked away. And a couple years in, I ended up, uh, pregnant with my oldest son. And it was in the process of dealing with that, um, reality, uh, and, you know, course, there's lots of voices coming in about what I should do, what I shouldn't do. And I just kind of— one night, I just really broke down. I wasn't in a good place emotionally, spiritually, mentally, in any way. Um, dealt with depression a lot. And I just, I just cried. And I, I felt the Lord. I just felt his presence a little bit. And I— he gave me this vision. And I saw him, Jesus, reaching his hand down to me. And he said to me, if I took his hand— and I could see myself in the pit I was in. It was amazing. Like, I was in the pit and I was looking up and I could see him reaching down to me. And I— it was one of those moments where I did hear him audibly. Not everyone does, but I think this was a moment where God really needed to meet me personally, and he did. And I heard him, and he said if I took his hand and, you know, would let him pull me up, then, you know, he told me to keep the baby and that he would be his father and he would be my husband and he would, um, get me through it. And, and that was the night that I realized— I think there was— I realized how personal he was, that he really meant what he said, and I took his hand that night, however, you know, and I started following him again, and I never looked back. But I think that really was the pivotal moment for me.

[7:27 -> 7:36] Speaker 2: So, 18, young pregnant single mom. So how would you say today that impacted your faith journey?

[7:36 -> 9:00] Speaker 1: Um, well, I really believe that, uh, my pregnancy with my oldest son saved my life. Because I think if he hadn't come along— because the thing was, because when you feel that badly about yourself, Yeah. you're not going to love yourself enough to do anything different. I wanted to. I didn't want to be where I was. I didn't want that at all. But I didn't love myself enough to do anything to change. But when they gave me that baby, in my arms and I knew that this life was depending on me, I loved that child enough to do something different. And I really think that God used that to save me and to bring him back to him and, um, and bring me to where he wanted me to be and to heal me, I think. Because it really— I learned about God's love in those moments holding that child that I hadn't ever before. You just— there's something about understanding that parent-child relationship, understanding what he was talking to me about as being my father and my Heavenly Father and how he loved me. And, um, it just— through the parenting process, you know, and through that, I really learned, and that became more real to me what his love was for me. So.

[9:00 -> 9:15] Speaker 2: I mean, because you, you've been open about, you know, your, your struggles with insecurity, depression, anxiety, even anger. So, and so I know you talked about your son, but is that— are there any other ways that God began healing you in those areas?

[9:15 -> 9:29] Speaker 1: Um, I mean, those were the main places, you know, really the, um, the depth of how, how awful I really looked at myself.

[9:29 -> 9:29] Speaker 2: I—

[9:29 -> 10:48] Speaker 1: there's just something about understanding who we are to him. The Um, I battled with that for a long time, but the last— um, I believe he's freed me from that and healed me from that. But that was a process, that was a long process. Um, a lot of mental healing, let that renewing of the mind— I don't think we really understand, uh, that the power of what he's talking about of renewing the mind, those really, um, freeing me from the lies that I had believed. Because we, we won't do anything with them because we don't really know that we're in that lie. Like, we don't really know that we're believing what we're believing. And when he exposes that, um, it's real painful, you know, because then there's a lot of repenting and there's a lot of, um, just realization of how the enemy had been deceiving me and, and the pain that I had gone through for nothing, kind of. It felt like, you know, um, and when he brings his truth into that and when he renews your mind and you can live in that new life, I think that's, that's one of the biggest ways too. I think that he's, um, transformed and, and healed me is in my mind. Um, I would say.

[10:48 -> 11:04] Speaker 2: Another major part of your story has, has been like hearing loss, and you've been also open about that. So how, how did that affect your relationship with God? When did you start noticing the hearing loss? Like, what— talk us through, through that journey.

[11:04 -> 11:28] Speaker 1: Well, I was probably— well, I was probably maybe 3 or 4 when they first like seen something. Um, they didn't do too much. And then when I was 9, I got my first hearing aid, and that's really when the The big part of that, 'cause that's the reality, right, is that now I've got these hearing aids, so this is a big deal. And my mom was deaf as well.

[11:28 -> 11:29] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

[11:29 -> 13:43] Speaker 1: So they weren't looking at it as genetic, but it has been shown that it is a genetic thing. And my youngest son has the same hearing loss now. So, It affects everything, you know, and in good ways and bad ways, you know, like it's, it's been hard. It's been very isolating. So it's been hard, you know, in social things, in, in trying to build relationships, in— it's been challenging in trying to be part of the body of Christ at times, you know, and things like that. And And, and trying to take in the different options and things that are out there to learn more about God. You know, I've had to do that more through reading and, yeah, obviously just being in God's Word. The cool part of it has been that God really taught me about prayer through my hearing loss, but not just the sitting down and holding our hands kind of praying, but the— Holy Spirit and our spirit really talking to one another, like the communicating. And I hear God better when I'm— when my ears are off, I call them, when I take my cochlear implants off. Because it was, you know, I kind of was, you know, you sit down with your prayer list and you pray. And that's the other thing that kind of comes out of the legalistic thing is how we look at prayer. And that was one of the things I wrote about in the book is that Prayer isn't just a checklist either. It's a— it's that prayer without ceasing. It's that living day-to-day life with the Lord. And I remember my kids were younger. I was vacuuming and whatever. And I, I like to clean with my cochlear implants off because I don't like the sound of the vacuum cleaner. And I just kind of like being in my own world and I can just focus better sometimes. And So I was doing that. And I had realized it'd been a couple hours. And by the end of that time, I had realized that God and I had been talking the whole time.

[13:43 -> 13:43] Speaker 2: Wow.

[13:43 -> 14:22] Speaker 1: And it was something I had never experienced before, not quite to that in that way. And I really started, you know, reading about the praying without ceasing. And it was just another level in my relationship with him, learning how to just live in life with him. So It's actually brought me closer to him in some ways, some days. Um, and when I've been in, in real wrestling places, um, I just— I, I'll, I'll just take them off and just sit with the Lord. And just— there's a— it's just a special place for me and him that not everyone has.

[14:23 -> 14:44] Speaker 2: And, um, so there's been, there's been hard things with it, but then there's been So for anybody in my audience who may not know, the cochlear implants, is there anything that separates them from other implants for hearing, or is this— was this specifically for you in your situation? Like, talk about that for anyone who just may not know.

[14:44 -> 15:38] Speaker 1: Yeah, they're specifically for nerve deafness. They have the Baha for bone deafness, but for the nerve deafness, the cochlear implants are specifically designed Like, I got to the place where my hearing aids weren't working for me anymore. I just lost so much hearing that they, they just couldn't work. So I had to choose, and it was a personal choice for me. I had to pray through that a lot too, what God wanted me to do, 'cause it was either I was gonna let the hearing aids go and just live as a deaf person, which I am still a deaf person, but, or I was going to implant. have the surgery done. And I think it's been the best decision for me. And I've learned a lot through the whole process with it too. But it's specifically for those with nerve deafness.

[15:38 -> 15:46] Speaker 2: So you said there was like, you, you didn't have a surgery. So you went this route instead of that?

[15:46 -> 15:52] Speaker 1: No, I did have surgery. I had, I had one. Yeah, one for each ear. Actually, I had to do it twice.

[15:52 -> 15:53] Speaker 2: Okay.

[15:53 -> 16:05] Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. And it's like a magnet. I have a magnet on my head there. There's a piece that goes in my cochlea and then the magnet goes over it. It's all scientifically and technology.

[16:06 -> 16:21] Speaker 2: Yeah. So what was that process like of deciding whether you were going to have the surgery, whether it was not? Like, can you turn them off, turn them on? What is that process like for you day to day?

[16:21 -> 19:02] Speaker 1: Because I know you said you didn't like the sound of the vacuum, so Well, that was, well, the process of it was when I was making the decision, that was tough because there was a lot of opinions too, just like with everything else. And yeah, I don't think my, my parents weren't really for it in the beginning either. So I had a lot of against me. I had a lot of fear too. I wasn't sure I should do it. I had some, you know, I had a deaf friend that kind of cut me off because they don't always agree with the decision. I don't feel like I was trying to fix my deafness. I don't feel like I was trying to change who I was in any way. I just felt like that God was saying to do it, and it was an opportunity for me to be able to hear more than what I could now. So there was the process of praying through it, and then there was the process of the— The surgery. The surgery. Now, this was 20 years ago. It's been 20 years this year, and last year it was for me. And, you know, so there was a lot of— I had a lot of healing to do after it, and it's been a lot of work too. You know, I— there's— I go for a mapping, they program you, they program it, and some things along the way, hormonal things, different things have caused issues with it. So I've had to really work at that. I've had to work at talking. People have no idea how much work it actually takes to talk and to speak. So there's been all of that in the middle of it. So it's not a one and done. A lot of people think that getting the cochlear implant just fixes something. It doesn't fix anything. I would tell anybody I'm a deaf person, and when I take them off, I don't hear anything. And, you know, in an instant it can be gone if something messes up with it or the batteries die and I don't have anything, you know, with me, then that's, that's who I am. So I don't, I don't, I'm not trying to fix or think that I don't try to make it seem like I think there's something wrong with me because that is the other thing. I actually had another podcaster ask me. What I had learned through my faith about the deafness. And what I've learned is if we're all created in God's image, then I don't think that I'm a mistake. I don't think me being deaf is a mistake. I think that there's been so much in this that has made me more like the Lord.

[19:02 -> 19:02] Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

[19:02 -> 19:19] Speaker 1: And that has helped me to have compassion. I have compassion for people with special needs that other people don't have. It helps me walk alongside people I wouldn't necessarily, maybe, if I didn't have the deafness. And I think we have to stop looking at that.

[19:19 -> 19:20] Speaker 2: Yeah.

[19:20 -> 21:35] Speaker 1: As though— and even, yes, it is a fallen world. You know, it is a fallen world. But there's something— if we're all created in God's image, then I believe that people with special needs and disabilities Have something about God's image that other people don't, that we all need to see and experience. So that's just something else I've taken out of the whole process of, you know, looking at who I am in the Lord and really embracing that, whether I have the cochlear implants on or off. But a lot of people think that it's just a one and done and that it just fixes you and your hearing. I'm not— I don't hear like you. other people. It's probably more, um, of a digital technical sound, you know, as I'm listening. So it's not— I don't even get hearing the way that you hear, but God gives it the way he gave it to me. And, um, I love it. I don't apologize for that either, because I remember, um, I remember when my kids were little and I had, um— I just have always wanted to hear music. It's— I've— I stuck my ear up to the speaker and it would be all the way up and probably kill someone else's ears if I had it out there like that. But I just, um, I wanted to hear it so bad. I wanted to understand the, the words that were being sung. And I would get mad at God. I'm like, why would you give this to me if you weren't going to let me hear? But he knew that he was going to. make a way for me later for that. And that's really helped me hold on to other things. When God gives me something in my heart or gives me a vision or a dream about something, and I'm waiting and waiting and waiting because it took years to get that, I thought he was nuts. I thought he was torturing me, you know, but he was really preparing me to be ready to hear the music he was going to let me hear. And it just gets better and better for me because I keep listening. The more I listen, the better I hear with them, and the music just gets better and better. So it's just been really powerful all the way around.

[21:35 -> 22:25] Speaker 2: I think we, like, especially talking about believers, I think we need to stop pretending like the things that happen to our lives, as if God— as if they caught God by surprise, as if he didn't know. You know, he's not going to allow something to happen to our lives that he does not want to happen for us. There's— and sometimes, and I love your, your heart posture there, because sometimes instead of asking God like, why me? Why me, Lord? What do you want me to learn from this, Lord? What can we do with this? Who can we inspire? Who can we encourage? Because this didn't catch you by surprise, and this doesn't make me more or less than anyone else. This is the route and path that you've laid forth before me. So what, what— how do you want us to live out this journey together, Lord? Because my life is yours. I'm blood-bought. I'm blood-purchased. where are we going with this?

[22:26 -> 22:27] Speaker 1: Amen. Yeah.

[22:28 -> 22:37] Speaker 2: So to, to that effect, um, what encouragement would you give to someone who feels rejected or insecure, like they don't belong in a church? Like, what encouragement would you give to that person?

[22:37 -> 23:54] Speaker 1: Oh, I love that question because that's really— I love, I love seeing those people in church. Like, I can spot you a mile away because I was— because that's who I was. And Um, I would encourage you that, that they're seen by God, to remind them that God sees them, that they're not invisible like they feel, um, and that he loves them and he has such good plans and purposes for you. Um, don't let the enemy steal that. Don't let the enemy, um, make you feel like you don't belong, because you do belong. And I pray that there are people who are around you that will tell you that and remind you that. I, I love doing that. I want people to remember those things because the enemy will be right in there to discourage you. I remember years of that in my mind, the constant torment of, you know, I would start to believe it and then Something would happen and it would trigger those feelings, and I would feel invisible again or feel like I wasn't worth anything. But you're worth everything for Jesus to die for you.

[23:54 -> 24:08] Speaker 2: As someone who, who is advocating for, for people with disabilities, what would— what do you wish churches maybe understood more about people who have disabilities and then in that level of inclusion as well?

[24:10 -> 24:58] Speaker 1: Well, I'm all about the relational, you know, and I think the key is to get to know the people in your church, get to know the ones with the disabilities, ask them what they need, you know, because everyone's different too. And even with the deafness, you know, some people need the sign language, and I can sign and I can understand it if I have an interpreter. Captioning is a big thing, you know. But each one's different with what would be the most helpful. It's the same thing. We've had many people come in with Down syndrome. I see more and more people with disabilities coming into the church. So I think that I just encourage leaders to keep their eyes open and to talk to them, you know, get to know them and find out what they need personally.

[24:58 -> 25:24] Speaker 2: And then Thank you so much, because I think this is a topic that we don't, we don't talk about enough. And I think sometimes I've had people even in my church, which I love, they say, are we ready for this? And like starting to put plans in place for that. So I'm— thank you for sharing that. That's insightful even for me. So I appreciate it.

[25:24 -> 25:30] Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. Yeah, thank you for asking, for caring, you know, because not everyone asks the question. So I love that.

[25:30 -> 26:13] Speaker 2: I think it's also good. That's why we're a body of believers, because often some of us see things that other people don't see. We experience things that people don't experience. And I think that's why it's important we come together to meet the needs of whatever the community is that God has us rooted in, has us planted into, because we're not all going to be the same. And we all play a part in that. We all have a plan, a purpose in God's plan to be the church. So And I don't want to, I don't want to get you off here before we— because I want to make sure we talk about your book before we, before we head out today too. So you, you create a book, um, like related to living beyond religion, and it obviously focuses on breaking free from that, that religion. So if someone is going to pick up that book, what do you hope they walk away with?

[26:13 -> 27:24] Speaker 1: I— well, I hope they walk away with, if there's something that they're in, stuck in, that they see what they're stuck in. Because a lot of times there's been people who've read the book who think that they're not stuck in anything, because if we're walking with the Lord, then we're good, right? But sometimes there's a lot of things that we are stuck in. So that's the first thing, that if someone is stuck there, that they hear that. For people who are seeking, I pray that the things that they heard about God, that they'll really see a true version of who he is and be— have a desire to want to know him. more and to, to seek out who he is more. And I pray that they feel like they're reminded, like what we just encouraged the people with, is that they're seen and known and loved by him, and that he wants that relationship with him, that first and foremost, that we were created for that. And he desires that. So he hasn't tossed us off. He has— it doesn't matter what we've done. He hasn't tossed us off. He's, he's right there ready to, to grab your hand the way he grabbed mine and, um, to change your life the way he's changed mine. So that's really the message.

[27:24 -> 27:31] Speaker 2: How can believers begin breaking free from legalism and experience true freedom in Christ?

[27:31 -> 29:08] Speaker 1: I think that— I think the first thing to everything is just acknowledging, you know, acknowledging what— where, um, the different mindsets and the legalistic, uh, strongholds that we've been stuck in. And then to, to be able to be willing to do the work with the Lord, because it's been work. I just— I— it's been when he shows me where I've been stuck and, um, what— and whether it's the people pleasing, whether it's the, um You know, it's the not seeing myself the way that I should, to not— I have not seen him the way I should. Um, when we allow him and allow him to start putting his truth where those lies have been, and, uh, that begins, you know, being in his word. Get into a small group in your church, you know, meet with someone, a mentor. I'm all about mentoring and discipleship. That's a huge thing. Find someone who's been walking with the Lord a little longer than you and have the conversations. We don't talk about this, and that's my biggest prayer, is that the book will start conversations and it will lead people to more freedom, because that's what Jesus died to give us, is to live free in him and not to be stuck in this. And it helps us to see other people differently too, the way Jesus sees them. And I think that will help us to minister to other people and evangelize a lot differently than we have in the legalistic mindset.

[29:08 -> 29:21] Speaker 2: Sister, thank you so much for being on here today. This is the final segment of the podcast. This is the Let Them Know segment. Anything you'd like to share with the audience, Desiree, please let them know.

[29:21 -> 29:41] Speaker 1: Okay. I would love to stay connected. I love building new connections and relationships. So you can find me over at my website at www. arenewedcreation.com. I'm also on Substack, um, if you'd rather just do that instead of social media. So, um, I hope that we can connect.

[29:41 -> 29:45] Speaker 2: Would you mind praying us out before we get out of here?

[29:45 -> 30:19] Speaker 1: Sure. Father, thank you so much for today. Thank you for this conversation, Lord. Thank you for who you are. Um, thank you for who you've created us to be, and thank you for creating us for relationship. with you, Lord. I pray for each one listening today, Father, that they would know you as you truly are, that they would, um, know Jesus, Father, and that they would have a relationship with him. Lord, I pray that you would heal people's minds and hearts and you would draw them to you, Father, and bring them into that freedom that you died to give them. In Jesus' name, amen.

[30:19 -> 31:47] Speaker 2: Father, I just thank you right now. I thank you for that person who's listening to this whose heart That you are piercing even now, Lord. That person who may be following other religions, other organizations, that they see you as the one true God, Father. So what I pray for that person, Lord, who may be into, into any other belief, Father, and yet whether it be Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Father, I pray for anybody who is, is far from you, Lord. I pray that they know that Jesus is the only way. Amen. Back to the Father, Lord. So I pray that person who's hearing this now is repenting of their sins. They're turning away from those things, Lord, and asking you to be in their hearts, asking to have a relationship with you, asking that you help them to follow you for all the rest of their days, Lord. I thank you for that, for that transformation that's taking place in their hearts right now, Father. But I pray for my sister. I pray that you continue to expand her territory. I thank you, Lord, that, that her voice is, is being light and salt to so many, that she's being a blessing to so many people that she may not ever get a chance to meet or hear from. And Lord, I just pray blessing over the sound of everyone in my voice right now. We just pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. If you have been enjoying our content, please like, follow, share, subscribe to the Rooted in Christ podcast. We are on all major podcast platforms. Desiree, thank you for being on here today.

[31:50 -> 31:52] Speaker 1: Thanks so much for having me. It was a blast.

[31:52 -> 31:53] Speaker 2: Thank you.